Communicating for Better Relationships

Communicating for Better Relationships

We use all our senses, visual, auditory, feelings/touch, smell and taste, although we pay attention to one sense more than another depending on what we are doing. For example, when we eat, we use our smell and taste senses; when swimming, we use our feeling and visual senses; at a rock concert, hearing, seeing and feeling. However, when we think we tend to favour one sense over the others, that is our preferred style. Misunderstandings can occur when we use our preferred style, and the person we are communicating with uses their preferred communication style that is different from ours. It can sometimes feel that they are speaking another language because we think they don’t understand us.

The secret of good communication is not so much what you say but how you say it. Matching people's language patterns instantly creates rapport because you speak and present your ideas in the same way they think about them. When speaking to a group of people, it is better to use all four Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and Digital (VAKD) words, so ALL the audience understands you.

People get caught up in their habitual learned patterns. They may say, "See this, see that" which is visually orientated. Whilst the other person is saying, "Talk to me, tell me more" (auditory). It is a mismatch in communication, and that's what causes most of our relationship problems in life.

You can now have choices in your communication, simply by communicating the same thing in all communication styles. Does this look interesting? Does it sound like something you would enjoy? Would you like to get a better grasp of what's available? You can improve your communication enormously by learning these essential skills. Whether it's your work, family, social, or sporting life, every relationship in life, depends on how well you communicate. When you communicate with people in their preferred language style, (VAKD) it leads to better communication because you will be speaking as they think and speak. Effective communication results when people understand; getting a crystal clear picture, rings a bell, or catch on. All areas of your life will improve when you create better communication.

When you become aware of other people’s preferred communication styles, you can:

• Rapidly create and maintain rapport,

• Motivate others,

• Make group presentations appealing to the whole audience.

Visual (V) Preferred Communication Style Words

See, picture, imagine, observe, look, glance, focus, looks right, I see what you are saying, a brilliant idea, viewpoint, get a mental image, see my viewpoint, perspective, paint a picture, radiant, sparkling, take a look, notice what you see.

Hearing (A) Preferred Communication Style Words

Hear, speak, tell, listen, sounds good, rings a bell, that resonates, that clicks with me, harmonious, tune into, translate, you are speaking my language, on the same wavelength, on the tip of my tongue, music to my ears, talk out loud, rings true.

Feeling (K) Preferred Communication Style Words

Feeling, get in touch with, feels right, connect with, grasp an idea, hold on, tackle a problem, get a grasp of the situation, calm and collected, get a handle on, do the best, hot, cold, catch on, catch-up, sensation, sensitive, strong, weak.

Thinking (D) Preferred Communication Style Words

Think, ponder, consider, understand, consider, fact, data, analyse, process, evaluate, summarise, assess, reason, logical, learn, idea, create, know, judge, knowledge, conceive, summary, reflect, calculate, comprehend.

Learning these words and using them in your language can help you have less misunderstandings and better relationships.

Dr Kay Green is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Mind Skills Coach with over 30 years of experience empowering people to achieve their full potential by utilising the latest neuropsychological, biological and behavioural techniques and strategies.

Want to know more?

Email Dr Kay Green at sportssuccessinfo@yahoo.com